On Turkish Reds & Travel Lust

I’ve never been to Turkey, and I know relatively little about the country. But Turkey has always fascinated me with its incredibly rich history and its important role in shaping art and music.

When travelling to a foreign land isn’t possible, reading the country’s literature can be an accessible substitute. I recently read (and wrote about) a fascinating Turkish novel called “Snow.” Even though the author Orhan Pamuk deals with religious tribalism and conflict, I still found myself longing to see the hills of rural Turkey with my own eyes.

Good wine, like good literature, also has this transcendent quality. I’ve never been to South Africa or Chile either, but I’ve tasted the fruits of their soil and relished in the nuances of their terroir. I know a little about what makes these places special, even though my feet have never touched the dirt. Literature and wine may not be as exciting as travel itself, but it’s a big world out there, and I’m not rich enough to travel everywhere. So I enjoy learning what I can through wine.

I sipped on two Turkish reds while I was reading “Snow.” The first I enjoyed thoroughly and would recommend to anyone with an adventurous palate. The other I found somewhat pleasing to the senses, but not very intellectually stimulating. (Both bottles were trade samples and tasted sighted.)

One last note… I have absolutely no idea how to pronounce these regions or grape varieties. If you’ve spent some time in Turkey and can enlighten me, please chime in!

2009 Kayra Öküzgözü Single Vineyard - Turkey, Eastern Anatolia, Aydıncık, Elazığ

SRP: $20

Bright purple color. Tight upon uncorking, very dark, but opened up to show black cherries, plums, pencil shavings and smashed rocks. The nose opened up with some swirling and time to show more nuanced fruit and aromas of rose petals, clove and cinnamon. Full-bodied and bold on the palate, this wine shows firm, grainy tannins. The plum, black cherry and fig fruit is bold and ripe and the flavors of pencil shavings, toasted oak and earth are prominent. Notes of clove and cinnamon linger onto the finish. The acid lacks verve, but overall this is a really solid wine with some complexity to unpack in the cellar. Made from the native Öküzgözü variety from the Elazığ region (pictured above). (88 points)

2006 Kayra Imperial Öküzgözü - Turkey

SRP: $20
Bright ruby-purple color. The first note I get on the nose reminds me of a freshly paved street, like steaming hot asphalt and tar. The blackberry and red plum fruit smells like it’s been dusted in incense and pepper. Interesting aromas, not your everyday kind of stuff. Unfortunately, the wine drops off a bit on the palate. The tannins are quite mild, the acid medium, and the overall mouthfeel is a bit thin. The wine shows some blackberry and sour cherry flavors, but the toasted oak stands out too much, muting the subtle flavors of incense and pepper. Medium finish with notes of tar and charred wood. Still, this is a decent wine and an interesting experience, albeit very “modern” in style. Unfortunately, it lacks a definite sense of place and, for me, that’s never good. A multi-regional blend of Turkish (80% Öküzgözü, 6% Boğazkere) and international varieties (7% Syrah, 7% Petit Verdot). (80 points)

Tasting Report: 2010 & 2009 California Cabernets

Ah, California Cabernet. I last wrote about California Cabernets in April, focusing specifically on some wines from Napa Valley. This report features a lot of Napa wines as well, including some real beauties.

Most of these wines — which were received as trade samples and tasted blind — come from the 2010 vintage, a trying year in many regions. Grapes struggled through a cold and rainy start to the season only to be hit with a heat wave in August, all of which gave many growers a reduced crop. However, these conditions also gave some of the 2010 Cabernets more pronounced acid and lower alcohol, qualities which many consumers (myself included) enjoy. It just goes to show that even in a tough year, vinegrowers and winemakers know how to make the best out of Mother Nature’s dole.

On to the wines…

2010 Concannon Cabernet Sauvignon Selected Vineyards - California, Central Coast
SRP: $10
Aromas of sweet cherries, red licorice and rose petals, a little bit of pepper. Medium-bodied and tangy acid, lots of bright cherry and raspberry with notes of caramelized sugar, red licorice and soft toast. A fun, easy-drinking style. (84 points)

2010 Justin Vineyards & Winery Isosceles - California, Central Coast, Paso Robles
SRP: $62
Smells like a fruit medley of blackberry, blueberry and currant, but also some coffee and cedar. This is a big wine, but it’s surprisingly smooth. The firm tannins, creamy oak and fresh berry fruit work well together. The currant and blueberry fruit is fresh and full, slathered with smoke, cedar, roasted coffee and vanilla. It’s toasty, but relatively well-integrated. Very forward, open and inviting, with a creamy and slightly herbal finish. Serious stuff. A blend of 85% Cabernet Sauvignon, 8% Cabernet Franc and 7% Merlot. (90 points)

2010 Hooker Rugby Club Cabernet Sauvignon Old Boys - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $32
A dark and juicy purple color. A strong nose of dark plums, blueberries, charcoal and ink. Medium-grain tannins on the palate, this is a plush and rich wine with lots of blueberries and blackberries. Sweet mocha and toast flavors match the fruit, but they don’t dominate. Medium acid keeps this from being overbearing, but it’s not a subtle wine. (87 points)

2010 Le Pich Cabernet Sauvignon - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $45
Dark purple color. The nose is kicking with fresh currants, black cherries, dried figs as well as tobacco and mocha. Medium-grain tannins and surprisingly fresh acid make this a balanced and easy-drinking cabernet. A juicy mix of sweet blackberries and gushing cherries leads to notes of tobacco and baking spices. Overall, this wine has a creamy mouthfeel, well-placed toast and hints of hazelnut. Impressive finish. Seems like a candidate for the cellar. (90 points)

2010 Purlieu Cabernet Sauvignon - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $80
A rich purple color. The nose is deep but also fresh, with currant, raspberries, charcoal and crème brulee. On the palate, firm tannins and fresh acid combine to form a rich mouthfeel. The currant and plum fruit tastes pure but maintains a tangy edge. Vanilla and some coconut shavings, but this wine also shows complex notes of pepper, incense and tobacco. Wow. Beautiful and delicious, but also a seriously concentrated wine that has a lot of potential for aging. (92 points)

2010 Hall Craig’s Cuvee - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $35
Bright ruby-purple color. Smells of fresh cherries, cranberries, vanilla and toast. Medium-grain tannins, a bit low on the acid. Flavors of sour cherry, red plums, some bell pepper and earth. The vanilla and toast is really quite high, and it obscures the fruit a bit. The alcohol (15.6%) is persistent and the wine has a mocha-toasty finish. A blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot and Syrah. (85 points)

2010 Hall Darwin - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $50
Highly aromatic, with lots of sweet cherries and raspberries, rose petals and vanilla. Firm tannins and medium acid make for a full but velvety wine. Sweet raspberry and black cherry fruit, dusted with pepper and olive. I generally have a good tolerance for oak, but I feel the oak overwhelms some of the subtle flavors. However, the acid really saves this wine, providing a sense of crispness throughout. A blend of Cabernet Sauvignon and Syrah. (87 points)

2009 Franciscan Estate Magnificat  - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $50
A bit compact on the nose, but it opens up nicely. Dark plum and black currant aromas, but it also smells like a forest: cedar, soil, leaves. Medium tannins meet refreshing acid on the palate. The fruit tends toward dark plums and dates, but there’s freshness to it all. Flavors of cedar, tobacco and charcoal mix in. A bit toasty, but all the other elements come together well, and the result is a silky-smooth wine. A full-spectrum Meritage blend of 64% Cabernet Sauvignon, 26% Merlot, 5% Petite Verdot, 3% Cabernet Franc and 2% Malbec. (88 points)

The Buccella Cab ain't cheap but it's beautiful.

2009 Buccella Cabernet Sauvignon - California, Napa Valley
SRP: $145
A deep, toasty nose, focused on currant and black cherries, mocha, caramel and cedar. Bold and full on the palate, as grippy tannins meet with medium acid. The black cherry and plum fruit tastes pure and rich, but not overdone. The secondary flavors remind me of black olive, loam and pepper, and they work very well in this context. Quite toasty (lots of cedar) but it has plenty of other elements to balance it out. The finish is really long, with chewing tobacco, pencil shavings and mineral notes. This wine opens up nicely, but there’s so much in here to unpack over the years. Tasted blind, my first impression was: “OK, this is legit stuff.” 94% Cabernet Sauvignon, 3% Petit Verdot, 2% Malbec and 1% Cabernet Franc aged 22 months in 80% new French oak. (93 points)

2010 Concannon Cabernet Sauvignon Conservancy - California, San Francisco Bay, Livermore Valley
SRP: $15
Nose of red licorice, some sweet red cherries and strawberries, mild toast. Medium-bodied with tangy acid. Tart cherries and strawberries lead the way, also some mocha and toasty notes. A simple but pleasant wine. (84 points)

2009 Jordan Vineyard & Winery Cabernet Sauvignon - California, Sonoma County, Alexander Valley
SRP: $53
Smoky nose, full of blackberry and black currants, dusted with earth and charcoal. On the palate, firm tannins, medium acid and dense fruit. Lots of dark berries and fig flavors, matched with loam and charcoal and creamy-toasty oak. Ripe and dark, but full of elegance. The finish shows tobacco leaf and pepper. Delicious now, but this could age for four to five easily. (89 points)

2010 Gundlach Bundschu Mountain Cuvée - California, Sonoma County, Sonoma Valley
SRP: $24
Lots of plums, blackberries and currants on the nose, sweet and a bit candied, almost raisined, some rose petals. Creamy textured but solid tannin structure. Plums, currants, the fruit tastes fresher and tangier than I was expecting from the nose. Lots of power here, with moderate toast, but the acid keeps it all fresh and balanced. Black licorice, espresso and some bell pepper. Burly, but there’s some freshness and complexity that make this wine really enjoyable, and it opens up a lot with time. A kitchen sink blend of 37% Cabernet Sauvignon, 31% Merlot, 12% Cabernet Franc, 10% Zinfandel, 4% Syrah, and 3% each of Malbec and Petite Verdot. (89 points)

These wines were tasted as part of a report for the daily wine blog Terroirist. Be sure to check out the site for news and notes on all things wine-related.

Summer's Winding Down, but Rosé is Always in Season

Summer may be on the way out, but rosé season never really ends. Lucky for lovers of the pink, many retailers mark down rosés after the summer peak, making good deals even better. I recently tasted through a mixed bag of rosés and found some wines that could be enjoyed during any time of the year.

All wines were received as samples and tasted blind.

2012 Jean-Luc Colombo Cape Bleue Rosé - France, Provence, Coteaux d'Aix-en-Provence
SRP: $12
Pale grapefruit skin color. Smells zesty and oceanic, with grapefruit rind, wild cherry, sea shells, lemon zest. Very light and fresh, showing lots of acid. The fruit flavors taste a bit light, like lemon rind and grapefruit rind mixed with mineral water. It’s refreshing, just not all that complex or thought-provoking. Serve well chilled at a party, though, and I bet everyone will be happy. 67% Syrah and 33% Mourvèdre. (85 points)

2012 Château de Sours Rosé - France, Bordeaux, Bordeaux Rosé
SRP: $15
A kind of salmon and rosewater color. It smells like a mix of wildflowers, the yellow ones, the purple ones, the honeysuckle, with some grapefruit as well. Light and crisp on the palate, with a flavor profile of melons, lemons and roses. The citrus finish has just a hint of pepper. Simple, but nice. 70% Merlot and 30% Cabernet Franc. (83 points)


Vinho Verde means green wine, but this region of
Portugal also produces some equally tasty pinks.

2012 Casa do Valle Vinho Verde - Portugal, Minho, Vinho Verde
SRP: $10
Slight spritz in the glass with an incredibly vibrant ruby color, somewhere between a Provence rosé and a California pinot noir. Smells of roses and sweet McIntosh apple. The palate is bright and tangy, with strawberry, red apple and sweet watermelon flavors. The acid and spritz make this so easy to drink. Notes of white pepper and hazelnut add some unexpected complexity. Seems like a really versatile wine. Made from the red grapes Vinhao and Rabo-de-Ovelha. What a bargain. (87 points)

2012 Stinson Vineyards Mourvedre Rosé - United States, Virginia, Central Region, Monticello
SRP: $17
Ruby red grapefruit juice color with a little bit of spritz. Smells like fresh bananas, watermelon, strawberry greens and a hint of salt. Tart on the palate, with fresh acid to balance out the rich watermelon and banana fruit. Hint of pepper as well. Crisp and fun, and one of the better Virginia rosés I’ve tasted in recent memory. (86 points)

2012 Gary Farrell Rosé of Pinot Noir - United States, California, Sonoma County, Russian River Valley
SRP: $28
A copper-salmon color. Smells of watermelon, white cherries and a mix of red and white flowers. On the palate, this rosé is medium-bodied with tangy acid and a good amount of creaminess. The cherry and red apple fruit is bright and crisp, and it’s all backed up by saline and mineral tones. The finish is long and full of lemon zest and minerals. Delicious and complex, it all comes down to the quality of the fruit in this wine. (90 points)

N.V. Peju Province Winery “Tess” Red & White Blend - United States, California, Napa Valley
SRP: $20
Okay, so I’m not sure this officially qualifies as a “rosé” but oh well. It’s a medium ruby color, almost like a young pinot noir. Aromas of cherry, cranberry, cola and rhubarb. Very tangy and fresh on the palate, with lots of juicy cherries, McIntosh apples along with herbal notes. Very faint tannins and medium acid, it reminds me of a lighter-styled pinot noir. Turns out this is a Napa kitchen sink blend of Cabernet Sauvignon, Merlot, Petite Verdot, Zinfandel, Chardonnay and Sauvignon Blanc aged for 10 months in neutral French oak. It has the color and red fruit of a red wine but the freshness of a rosé. Best served slightly chilled. (85 points)

2012 Stepping Stone by Cornerstone Syrah Rosé “Corallina” – United States, California, Napa Valley
SRP: $20
Medium salmon color. This rosé shows aromas of melon rind, some cheese and some bell pepper. Brisk on the palate with crisp acid and snappy white cherry fruit. There’s this cucumber flavor that strikes me as odd, but it’s still a fun wine. (83 points)

This post first appeared on the daily wine blog Terroirist.

Campovida Finds a Sense of Place in Mendocino

Photo courtesy of Campovida.

Campovida isn’t just a winery. It’s a 13-acre organic garden, a community supported agriculture program, a 10-room center for corporate retreats, a meeting space for “meaningful conversations.” Based in the small Mendocino County town of Hopland, the Campovida property once comprised the Fetzer Valley Oaks Food and Wine Center. The Campovida website is full of poetic musings about sustainable living, community, a sense of place. One thing you won’t find is a way to buy the wines. Yep, Campovida is a different kind of outfit.

The folks behind this project are wife-husband duo Anna Beuselinck and Gary Breen. Originally from Oakland, the couple bought the closed facility in 2006 and got to work. They must’ve been quite busy over the last few years.

Despite all the time I’ve spent in Mendocino County, I knew nothing about this project before I opened Campovida’s wines a few weeks ago. The wines (five whites and a rosé) were received as trade samples and I tasted all of them sighted. These wines were made by Sebastian Donoso. Born in Chile, Sebastian studied enology at Fresno State and made wine for Sacina before joining Campovida in 2012. (Click here for a Terroirist interview with Sebastian.)

As I tasted through the wines, I started to second-guess my senses. Was I really picking up all this freshness, acidity and minerality? But after thoroughly swirling and tasting, the wines had won me over. My notes…

2011 Campovida Viognier Riserva - California, North Coast, Mendocino County

SRP: $34

A yellow-gold color in the glass. On the nose, this bright wine explodes with lime and white flowers, green apple and a rocky, mineral aroma like some sort of mountain spring. A full-bodied palate provides weight to the tangy lime and apple fruit. A real sense of richness from the honeycomb and nougat, but it’s balanced by white tea, mineral notes and medium acid. Impressive stuff. (89 points)

2012 Campovida Chardonnay Oppenlander Vineyard - California, North Coast, Mendocino County

SRP: $36

Light yellow color. Perfumed and elegant on the nose, with white flowers, lime, mineral, sea spray, almost Chablis-like in its oceanic approach. The acid rips across the palate. The green apple, lime and tangerine rind fruit is tangy and intense, and the level of minerals in this wine is really awesome. What a brisk, fresh wine that speaks to the terroir of the Mendocino Coast. Singing now, but I’d actually like to set this down for two or three years to see what happens. (90 points)

2012 Campovida Roussanne Bonofiglio Vineyard - California, North Coast, Mendocino County

SRP: $32

Light gold color. Lovely perfumed nose of banana, white peach, circus peanut candy and lavender. Plump on the palate with a waxy mouthfeel, balanced with soft acid. I like the combination of tropical fruit (banana, mango and papaya) with these notes of lanolin and candle wax. Slightly nutty but not fat. Long finish. (88 points)

2012 Campovida Campo di Blanca Riserva - California, North Coast, Mendocino County

SRP: $32

The nose blends brighter tones of lime, orange and flowers with richer honeycomb, melted butter and hazelnut, and the combination is lovely. Rich on the palate but balanced by tangy acid and some fresh minerals. I get lots of pear, bruised apple and honey, and there’s a nutty and waxy feel to this wine, which isn’t overdone. A buttery aspect lingers on the finish, but the acid doesn’t stop. Richer than some of the other whites, but still balanced and delightful. A blend of 67% Marsanne, 22% Viognier and 11% Roussanne.  (91 points)

2012 Campovida Arneis Spirit Ranch Vineyard - California, North Coast, Mendocino County

SRP: $36

Very perfumed on the nose, with all sorts of citrus and flowers. The palate shows lemon, orange and apricot, along with some more tropical notes of pineapple and green melon. The acid shines through all the way, giving the wine an airy feel despite the ripe fruit. A white tea and honey flavor lingers on the finish. A Northern Italian grape has found a good home in Mendocino. (89 points)

Behold, an amazing pink!

2012 Campovida Rosé di Grenache Riserva - California, North Coast, Mendocino County

SRP: $34

A radiant copper-salmon color with the faintest spritz in the glass. Fresh aromas of watermelon, ruby red grapefruit, wildflowers and a subtle herbal note. Crisp acid kicks off the palate. The wild strawberry and white cherry fruit is snappy and fresh rather than ripe and sweet, and the minerals add to this wine’s overall verve. I also get some white pepper and grapefruit rind notes. Pure and delicious, this is one of the best domestic roses I’ve had in a long time. The Grenache comes from Trail’s End Vineyard in the Potter Valley appellation. At 1,000 feet in a relatively cool area, Grenache grapes don’t ripen as quickly, says winemaker Sebastian Denoso, allowing for lower sugar and more focused acid. (91 points)

If you’re in the Bay Area and looking to try Campovida’s wines, you’re in luck. In April, they opened a tasting room in Oakland called the Taste of Place. Located at 95 Linden Street, it’s open from 5-9 on Thursdays and Fridays and 1-6 on Saturdays and Sundays. “Going to Oakland has been a return to our own roots and beginnings of starting our lives as a family,” said Anna Beuselinck, “as well as connecting the urban and rural worlds.”

This post first appeared on the daily wine blog Terroirist.

A Grab Bag of Italian Wines

The diversity of Italian wine regions, the seemingly endless amount of native grape varieties, the different styles and winemaking methods, it’s all a bit daunting. But you don’t have to be an expert to enjoy Italian wine. You just need a glass, an open mind and, preferably, some delicious food.

I recently had the pleasure of tasting through a few Italian wines. A drop in the bucket for sure, but it was an enjoyable and educational experience. All wines were received as trade samples and tasted blind.

White

2011 Arnaldo-Caprai Grechetto Colli Martani “Grecante” - Italy, Umbria, Colli Martani
SRP: $20
Medium gold color. Interesting nose of honeycomb, dried pineapple, apricot and hazelnut. On the palate, this wine has an oily texture and medium acid. The flavors of yellow apple and apricot are light and easy, and the nutty-honeycomb aspect adds a bit of punch. A hint of green herbs carries the finish, which isn’t long. While it has some attractive components, overall this isn’t a thought-provoking wine. 100% Grechetto. (83 points)

Orange?

2011 Attems Pinot Grigio “Cupra Ramato” - Italy, Friuli-Venezia Giulia, Venezia Giulia IGT
SRP: $19
Pretty gold-pink color, like honey mixed with grapefruit juice. Aromas of honeycomb, honeydew melon, ruby red grapefruit and sweet flowers. The palate shows high acid and medium body, with flavors of honeydew melon, white peach and grapefruit. Notes of quinine and minerals add a racy component. Long finish. A really unique and punchy Pinot Grigio. The must remains in contact with the grape skins for 12 hours, which gives this wine that nice coppery color and maybe some of the depth and complex flavors. (89 points)

Red

2008 Valturio “Solco” Marche IGT - Italy, Marche, Marche IGT
SRP: $34
Aromas of violets, mixed dark berries, cranberry sauce, pencil shavings. The palate is wonderfully fresh, as the acid sets the stage for the cranberry, strawberry and fig paste. Notes of coffee, leather, musk and charcoal add layers of complexity. There’s an underlying earthiness that pervades this wine, just like the acid, which starts and finishes this wine. 100% Rebo, which is a hybrid of Merlot and Teroldego, aged 12 months in 50% new French barriques. An elegant yet serious wine that deserves a homemade Italian meal and some time in the decanter. (90 points)

2010 Bersano Dolcetto d'Alba “Coldelfosso” - Italy, Piedmont, Alba, Dolcetto d'Alba

SRP: $20
Sour cherries, raspberries and dusty earth on the nose. Tart acid, soft tannins, the fruit tastes like tangy cherries and raspberries. Some earth and charcoal flavors add complexity. That said, it’s more of a simple wine for easy drinking. Medium finish. Seems like a drink-me-now. (85 points)

2009 Piccini Chianti Classico - Italy, Tuscany, Chianti, Chianti Classico DOCG

SRP: $16
A little reticent on the nose, faint red plum, rose petals, dusty earth and a bit of dried tobacco. Medium-bodied on the palate, moderate acid and fine tannins. Flavors of sour cherry, red plum and raspberry jam, along with notes of cocoa powder and tobacco. The wine falls off a bit on the finish. A simple, easy-sipping wine. (82 points)

2006 Castelnuovo Dell'Abate Brunello di Montalcino Riserva “La Fiorita” - Italy, Tuscany, Montalcino, Brunello di Montalcino
SRP: $95
A beautiful mix of earth and fruit flavors on the nose, raspberries, figs, green olive, lamb and soy. Medium-to-high acid kicks off the palate along with fine-grained but firm tannins. The raspberry and red currant fruit is pure and complex and mixed with notes of coffee, sage, soy, chewing tobacco, rounded out with some toast. Tasted blind, this screamed Tuscany. A very pretty wine, but there’s no rush because this could use some time in the cellar. (90 points)

2008 Arnaldo-Caprai Sagrantino di Montefalco “Collepiano” - Italy, Umbria, Montefalco, Sagrantino di Montefalco

SRP: $60
A bold purple-magenta color. The plum and blackberry fruit smells roasted and inky, and I get notes of violet and dark chocolate as well. The tannins are seriously grippy, and medium acid tries to fight back. The plum and currant fruit tastes deep and compact. Really smoky, like a steak on a charcoal grill. The toasty oak mixes with notes of roasted coffee, herbal liqueur and incense. This 100% Sagrantino is aged for two years in French oak, then six more months in bottle. A bold, gritty wine, I think cellaring this for five to eight years might be a good idea. (90 points)

2010 Arnaldo-Caprai Montefalco Rosso - Italy, Umbria, Montefalco, Montefalco Rosso

SRP: $22

Smells of cherries in sauce, bright berries, along with some tobacco and roasted coffee. The palate shows grippy tannins and medium acid. The cherry and currant fruit is snappy and fresh. Notes of green pepper, anise and tobacco add complexity. The tannins need some time to mellow out, but this wine packs a lot of complexity for $22. A blend of 70% Sangiovese, 15% Sagrantino and 15% Merlot. (89 points)

This post first appeared on the daily wine blog Terroirist.

Say What? Joe Wenke's Satirical Take on the Bible

As the son of evangelical Christian missionaries, the Bible played a large role in my youth. But the Bible and I have always had a complicated relationship. On Sundays, as I was reading the holy book along with a teacher or a pastor, I was frequently filled not with a peace that passes all understanding, but with an anxious, wrenching feeling. Older and (presumably) smarter people were always telling me this book was truthful, good, the basis of morality and justice, something I should use to guide my decisions.  But when I read the book, the actual words and stories troubled me.

I’ve read the Bible many times, and I still come to the conclusion that the god of the Bible is a jerk. In many cases, he’s the exact opposite of all I consider to be “good.” Despite his ultimate power, he’s petty and desperate for love. The sadistic violence he unleashes upon other tribes makes the film Braveheart look tame. The Old Testament god seems utterly obsessed with violence and slaughter. In book after book, he commands his followers to kill women and children. (When it comes to honoring religious texts, the killing women and children is a deal-breaker for me.) He promotes slavery.  (Another deal-breaker). He inflicts group punishment on innocent people. (I’m going to stop listing the deal-breakers at this point.) Women are treated as spoils of war. In the case of Job, God even turns his back on one of his own followers, as he submits Job to torture and conspires with Satan to kill Job’s family. And that’s just part of the Old Testament. The gospels as a whole are great — the ravings of the Apostle Paul not so much. 

 

But those Sunday school teachers and pastors from my youth seemd like decent, kind and loving people. I have fond memories of them and, for the most part, I think they were genuinely concerned with doing good in the world. So why on earth did they revere this god? Why did they pray to him asking for advice when his book was full of terrible advice? These questions tore me up for a long time. They still do.

Apparently Dr. Joe Wenke struggled along a similar path. His satirical book of essays, You Got to Be Kidding! The Cultural Arsonist’s Satirical Reading of The Bible, is his way of confronting these same questions. You know what you’re getting into as soon as you look at the cover, and if you’re still not sure what Wenke is after, his dedication page may help clear that up: “For Thomas Paine and Christopher Hitchens.”

In writing this book, Wenke, who grew up Catholic, read the Bible all the way through and wrote humorous snippets about whatever stood out to him. Wenke covers both Old and New Testaments, offering thoughts on the text and posing questions about what he reads. He examines the disturbing sections of the Bible and riffs on them with snappy, satirical language. His critique speaks for itself, but I appreciate how Wenke includes a blatant statement of purpose in his book. I’m sure many Christians would be angered if they read this book and, rightfully, they may ask: Why would this man write a book just to mock the Bible? Good question. Wenke answers it: “I’m very passionate about this. Bigots use the Bible all the time to justify their bigotry against gay and transgender people. They also use it to defend the subordination of women to men.”

Wenke is angered by religious-inspired hatred, the most venomous of which is reserved for LGBT people. To combat this ignorance, he chose to combat one of its main sources: the language of The Word itself. “Bible-believing haters do have a point,” Wenke writes. “The Bible, the inspired word of God, is hateful toward gay and transgender people, but that doesn’t impress me. I say just because God is a bigot doesn’t make it right. We all need to stand up against people who use the Bible and religion to justify their own hatred and bigotry.” I say, preach it, brother.

The cover of the book itself is a slap in the face of transphobia, and I give Wenke serious credit for featuring a transgendered woman on the face of his book. Dressed up in what looks like a Catholic robe, her big beautiful eyes looking skyward, the woman gives off a sense of strength and pride.